What does it actually mean to love yourself?

Today, I’ve been sitting with a simple but layered question:

What does it actually mean to love myself?

Is it liking what I see in the mirror?
Feeling good about my choices?
Being proud of the words I speak?

Or is it the things we often call “self-love”—Epsom salt baths, getting our nails done, losing weight?

Maybe it’s all of that… but honestly, what I’m discovering goes much deeper.

The real texture—the real juiciness—of loving myself is this:

It’s turning toward the parts of me that learned how to protect:
-The hard shell.
-The strategies that keep me separate.
-The feelings—shame, fear—that are so old I can’t even remember where they began.

When I lean into those parts, instead of pushing them away, something shifts.

I start to see them clearly.
I begin to understand why they’re there.
How they once kept me safe, but are now getting in the way of my true inner JOY.

Because when we were young, we had to protect ourselves.
We had to find ways to be seen, to be heard, to feel loved, to survive.

And when we understand that this was all out of brilliance and innocence as a small child, we can begin to love ourselves more.

We begin to accept ourselves and others.

This acceptance can free up so much love, joy, energy, and compassion in our bodies and minds.